I have questions

Why isn't this week over. Why did I have to go and give myself sciatica. Why have I never before purchased Nacho Cheese--flavored Soy Crisps. Why don't I get paid until midnight. Why do birds suddenly appear.

Why can't I wear my hair in pigtails without getting 800 billion new boyfriends. Why did I ask my trainer if we could move our Saturday morning sessions to 7 am. Why golf.

Why would someone send my office a box full of razor blades. Why would I fail to mention that they are safety blades. Why can't I walk past a McDonald's without having an overwhelming desire to dip their hot, crispy french fries in a creamy chocolate milkshake devolve into a spasm of guilt that results in a trip to the fruit vendor for a delicious and crispy...pear.

Why haven't I called my grandmother in months. Why did I blush when my boss told me we could "hang out by the pool" in LA. Why did I commit to volunteering all summer and kick it off yesterday by spending 120 minutes trying to get a hyperactive 6-year-old to stop screaming "POOP!" long enough to write a newspaper article on Sponge Bob Squarepants.